Parents: Beware the ADHD Trap!
Effective communication in trying to understand what it all means - and even if it's relevant - is one of the biggest problems parents have to face when their child is seen as a prime candidate for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).
Confronted with a child who is a bit of a handful, it's easy for parents at their wits' end to succumb to a program of medication to modify the situation.
But in doing so they run the real risk of tagging their child with a stigmatizing label for life.
This hard-hitting article simplifies it all with a real-life story that will give you pause for thought before you rush into something you could regret.
Communicating effectiveness is often sadly lacking when we desperately need clarification and help.
A simple story we can relate to is not only the secret to a better understanding, it helps us get our message across as well.
One of the main things we have to first consider is that it's often well-meaning people and those very close to us that proffer the ADHD possibility.
Why? Because nowadays it's at the forefront of everyone's mind when a kid is a little unruly and hard to handle.
A debilitating way of thinking.
As a little boy my son *Tom was a real live-wire and into everything.
I had to be watching him all the time.
When he was in grade 1 the coordinating teacher shared her concerns of Tom's over exuberance and inattentiveness with us.
She genuinely believed that he displayed the symptoms of ADHD which was all the rage at the time.
Any kid that didn't fit the behavioral mould of the time was quickly diagnosed and put on a 'calming' drug regime to settle them down.
Some of these kids stayed on these drugs for years.
Worse still they were labeled as kids with a problem and wore this tag for decades.
And this debilitating way of thinking was unwittingly perpetuated by the continuous mention of their ADHD condition by the teachers, their school mates, friends and family.
The teacher strongly suggested that this professional help was what Tom urgently needed; but my wife and I were not so sure.
An enthusiastic little boy, always on the go.
As I reflected on the situation, I remembered that as a little boy I too had been full of beans and into everything just like Tom, yet I had turned out to be a well-balanced person who could make myself agreeable and fit in.
So as far as we were concerned there was nothing wrong with Tom.
He was just a normal little boy who was always on the go and needed to be kept busy.
We certainly didn't want to label him for life with a stigmatic ADHD tag! So my wife and I made a pact that we would handle the situation ourselves by looking after him as any caring parents would.
Over the years we put in the time and effort to keep him busy with his basket ball, the leisure centre, his guitar lessons and whatever other interest took his fancy.
But the key element of this pact was to never mention any of this in front of his siblings or anyone.
We wanted him to grow up, with our guidance, feeling no different to those around him.
And guess what? He's grown into a well-balanced normal young man who gets along with people, loves sports and is currently studying science at University! When Tom was 19 he somehow got wind of this ADHD dilemma his mum and dad had to face all those years ago.
One day he said to me in the kitchen: "Hey dad, I'll be forever grateful for you and mum not branding me as an ADHD kid because I would have had to wear that all my life!" These words took me completely by surprise for I didn't know he was aware of this...
All I could think of was the untold damage that could have been done to his self-esteem if we had followed the teacher's advice and went down the ADHD path.
The sincerity of his words touched me deeply.
So even though you might have a child who is a real handful, beware of rushing headlong into the ADHD trap when there's a good chance you don't need to go that way at all.
Instead, put that extra time and effort into keeping your precious child involved and busy.
In next to no time you'll find that their over exuberance and 'troublesome' behaviour will be expended in these positive activities and, like Tom, they'll simply grow out of it.
Finally, overwhelming situations like this need to be shared to lighten the burden of others, but if you want to effectively get complex ideas across the first time, bring them down to a human level with stories people can relate to.
*Not his real name
Confronted with a child who is a bit of a handful, it's easy for parents at their wits' end to succumb to a program of medication to modify the situation.
But in doing so they run the real risk of tagging their child with a stigmatizing label for life.
This hard-hitting article simplifies it all with a real-life story that will give you pause for thought before you rush into something you could regret.
Communicating effectiveness is often sadly lacking when we desperately need clarification and help.
A simple story we can relate to is not only the secret to a better understanding, it helps us get our message across as well.
One of the main things we have to first consider is that it's often well-meaning people and those very close to us that proffer the ADHD possibility.
Why? Because nowadays it's at the forefront of everyone's mind when a kid is a little unruly and hard to handle.
A debilitating way of thinking.
As a little boy my son *Tom was a real live-wire and into everything.
I had to be watching him all the time.
When he was in grade 1 the coordinating teacher shared her concerns of Tom's over exuberance and inattentiveness with us.
She genuinely believed that he displayed the symptoms of ADHD which was all the rage at the time.
Any kid that didn't fit the behavioral mould of the time was quickly diagnosed and put on a 'calming' drug regime to settle them down.
Some of these kids stayed on these drugs for years.
Worse still they were labeled as kids with a problem and wore this tag for decades.
And this debilitating way of thinking was unwittingly perpetuated by the continuous mention of their ADHD condition by the teachers, their school mates, friends and family.
The teacher strongly suggested that this professional help was what Tom urgently needed; but my wife and I were not so sure.
An enthusiastic little boy, always on the go.
As I reflected on the situation, I remembered that as a little boy I too had been full of beans and into everything just like Tom, yet I had turned out to be a well-balanced person who could make myself agreeable and fit in.
So as far as we were concerned there was nothing wrong with Tom.
He was just a normal little boy who was always on the go and needed to be kept busy.
We certainly didn't want to label him for life with a stigmatic ADHD tag! So my wife and I made a pact that we would handle the situation ourselves by looking after him as any caring parents would.
Over the years we put in the time and effort to keep him busy with his basket ball, the leisure centre, his guitar lessons and whatever other interest took his fancy.
But the key element of this pact was to never mention any of this in front of his siblings or anyone.
We wanted him to grow up, with our guidance, feeling no different to those around him.
And guess what? He's grown into a well-balanced normal young man who gets along with people, loves sports and is currently studying science at University! When Tom was 19 he somehow got wind of this ADHD dilemma his mum and dad had to face all those years ago.
One day he said to me in the kitchen: "Hey dad, I'll be forever grateful for you and mum not branding me as an ADHD kid because I would have had to wear that all my life!" These words took me completely by surprise for I didn't know he was aware of this...
All I could think of was the untold damage that could have been done to his self-esteem if we had followed the teacher's advice and went down the ADHD path.
The sincerity of his words touched me deeply.
So even though you might have a child who is a real handful, beware of rushing headlong into the ADHD trap when there's a good chance you don't need to go that way at all.
Instead, put that extra time and effort into keeping your precious child involved and busy.
In next to no time you'll find that their over exuberance and 'troublesome' behaviour will be expended in these positive activities and, like Tom, they'll simply grow out of it.
Finally, overwhelming situations like this need to be shared to lighten the burden of others, but if you want to effectively get complex ideas across the first time, bring them down to a human level with stories people can relate to.
*Not his real name
