Daily Care

• Even with the help of friends and family, providing full-time care for a disabled adult child can be draining. To ease the burden, take advantage of caregiving services available in your community. Examples include medical and nonmedical home care services such as physical therapy, housekeeping, transportation and meal delivery.
  
  Some communities provide a service referred to as adult day stay or daycare, which provides daytime activities and health services for disabled adults. Enrolling your older child in such a program will allow you to carry on with activities, such as work or socializing, while your child receives necessary attention and care.
  
  Some disabled adult children are able remain at home on their own while you and other family members are away. If this is the case, invest in an emergency response system. Examples include necklaces or bracelets containing a button that the child can push to alert a monitoring center in case of an emergency while you are away. Emergency situations can also occur while you are home. Installing an intercom system and video camera will enable you to hear and/or see your child from another area in your home.
  
  

Planning Ahead

• Having a grown child means that you are probably middle aged or older. Think about who will care for your child once you are gone or too old to provide care. Begin by speaking with a local agency that handles services for the disabled. Such organizations will guide you in selecting future services and residential arrangements for your child. In addition, the agency can put you in touch with support groups and therapists who can help you and your child emotionally prepare for the future.
  
  Other steps include having an honest conversation with other family members about the subject. For example, siblings often make unrealistic promises to care for a disabled brother or sister later on in life as a result of guilt. Accepting the reality that some family members are not willing to care for your child after you are gone is likely to be difficult. However, it is something you should be aware of in advance so that you can make alternative arrangements.
  
  It is important to encourage a disabled child's independence as much as possible. For example, teach your daughter to do her own laundry if she is capable of doing it on her own. Being able to rely on herself is likely to make the transition easier for your daughter once you are no longer there or able to assist. Your goal is to minimize the trauma associated with letting go of a parent and, potentially, a home and familiar routines as well.
  
  In addition, work on bringing people who are not family members into your child's life. The ability to interact with peers, which can be fostered through participation learned in local clubs for the disabled or events such as the Special Olympics, can help your child adjust to a new living situation.