The Ultimate Dating Guide
"Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses'."
- John Lennon
Instead of going out dating and expecting to find the right match, allow yourself to have fun and connect with people for the mere pleasure of enjoying their company. Let go of any weird agenda and be yourself. This will put you in a peaceful state of allowance and that's when the right one will most likely enter your life.
Here is a 5-step approach to loving and fun dating:
1. Lighten up!
Talk to your date with the same unguarded ease you have when talking to your best friend. Lighten up and allow things to unfold, rather than making things seem like a job interview.
Recount a funny thing that happened at work earlier in the day or share a great experience that one of your friends recently had. We tend to trust and feel closer to people who are naturally open.
There may be times when the conversation hits a plateau and silence is pretty much inevitable. It's a great opportunity to ask a question and keep the talk rolling. Here are some suggestions
- Where have you traveled so far?
- What's the latest book you read?
- What type of work do you do?
- If you only had one hour to do anything you wanted, what would you choose?
- What is your favorite movie?
- What music do you like most?
- Do you cook? What's your specialty?
- What time of day do you enjoy most?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, what would you choose?
The best way to keep your date interested in you is to always have them link you to the idea of fun and excitement. Don't be afraid to be a little spontaneous and suggest that you take a walk in the park or explore a new attraction in the city after the date is over.
2. The Negative Revelation.
Here is another tweak to help you bond even easier with your date. It's been proven that revealing a small weakness of yours (a fear of heights, for instance) makes your partner feel more comfortable around you because they see you as more human.
You might even admit that you tend to get slightly nervous on first dates. This also takes the pressure off the other person and makes you seem more confident because you're not afraid to admit it.
3. Go A Little Wild.
How about singing along to your favorite song while you're in the car together? Being spontaneous and a little wacky shows you have passion and character and your unusual way to behave on a first date will drive up the neurotransmitter dopamine in your brains, making you both feel happy and excited.
4. The Mirroring Technique.
Mirroring is a subliminal body-language technique in which you subtly copy the other person's posture and gestures. Echoing someone's actions fires up the cells in their brain responsible for feelings of empathy and tells your companion that the two of you are in sync.
This technique is mostly successful when you do it unconsciously, so get absorbed in the conversation and you'll begin to naturally lean toward your date when they lean in. Notice whether they are also echoing you too; if so, it's likely they are into you.
5. The Dating Retrospective.
After you return from your date, take out a piece of paper and write down what went good and what could be improved. Pick just one thing you'd like to improve and focus on that. Put this paper in a safe way and revise it every month. Go back, read your previous notes and track your progress and observe how your dating improves.
In summary...
Remember to smile, make eye contact and listen to what your date is saying. By actively listen and participating in the conversation, you are making the first step in controlling your emotions and shyness.
Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, an experience that improves your life and adds to your self-growth. Just go easy and don't take things too seriously; enjoy yourself and the Universe will take care of the rest.
- John Lennon
Instead of going out dating and expecting to find the right match, allow yourself to have fun and connect with people for the mere pleasure of enjoying their company. Let go of any weird agenda and be yourself. This will put you in a peaceful state of allowance and that's when the right one will most likely enter your life.
Here is a 5-step approach to loving and fun dating:
1. Lighten up!
Talk to your date with the same unguarded ease you have when talking to your best friend. Lighten up and allow things to unfold, rather than making things seem like a job interview.
Recount a funny thing that happened at work earlier in the day or share a great experience that one of your friends recently had. We tend to trust and feel closer to people who are naturally open.
There may be times when the conversation hits a plateau and silence is pretty much inevitable. It's a great opportunity to ask a question and keep the talk rolling. Here are some suggestions
- Where have you traveled so far?
- What's the latest book you read?
- What type of work do you do?
- If you only had one hour to do anything you wanted, what would you choose?
- What is your favorite movie?
- What music do you like most?
- Do you cook? What's your specialty?
- What time of day do you enjoy most?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, what would you choose?
The best way to keep your date interested in you is to always have them link you to the idea of fun and excitement. Don't be afraid to be a little spontaneous and suggest that you take a walk in the park or explore a new attraction in the city after the date is over.
2. The Negative Revelation.
Here is another tweak to help you bond even easier with your date. It's been proven that revealing a small weakness of yours (a fear of heights, for instance) makes your partner feel more comfortable around you because they see you as more human.
You might even admit that you tend to get slightly nervous on first dates. This also takes the pressure off the other person and makes you seem more confident because you're not afraid to admit it.
3. Go A Little Wild.
How about singing along to your favorite song while you're in the car together? Being spontaneous and a little wacky shows you have passion and character and your unusual way to behave on a first date will drive up the neurotransmitter dopamine in your brains, making you both feel happy and excited.
4. The Mirroring Technique.
Mirroring is a subliminal body-language technique in which you subtly copy the other person's posture and gestures. Echoing someone's actions fires up the cells in their brain responsible for feelings of empathy and tells your companion that the two of you are in sync.
This technique is mostly successful when you do it unconsciously, so get absorbed in the conversation and you'll begin to naturally lean toward your date when they lean in. Notice whether they are also echoing you too; if so, it's likely they are into you.
5. The Dating Retrospective.
After you return from your date, take out a piece of paper and write down what went good and what could be improved. Pick just one thing you'd like to improve and focus on that. Put this paper in a safe way and revise it every month. Go back, read your previous notes and track your progress and observe how your dating improves.
In summary...
Remember to smile, make eye contact and listen to what your date is saying. By actively listen and participating in the conversation, you are making the first step in controlling your emotions and shyness.
Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, an experience that improves your life and adds to your self-growth. Just go easy and don't take things too seriously; enjoy yourself and the Universe will take care of the rest.
