Homegrown Hospitality - It"s Easier Than You Think
When I was growing up, my father was a military officer.
I remember one of the keys to success in his career was entertaining his fellow officers and superiors.
I have many memories of elegant formal dinner parties, exotic cuisine, themed parties and lots of strangers in my home.
I married a military officer too.
He was close to retirement and in a position with mostly civilian employees.
I wasn't under the same pressure as my mother to entertain his co-workers.
However, my husband was an ordained elder in a small church; so there was pressure to be hospitable.
In fact, in the early days of our denomination, it was a requirement for the man being considered for the office of Elder to produce the family guest book.
More signatures in the book proved the family's home was open to friend and stranger alike.
We started off with a goal of inviting every church family to our house for dinner during the first year of our marriage.
In my mind I had to use the wedding china, find international entrees, unique desserts, scrub the house and dress up.
This high standard quickly became too stressful to maintain.
Quite by accident I discovered a new and easier way of being hospitable.
One night a family was coming over for dinner and I wasn't prepared.
I think I was in the throws of morning sickness at the time.
I knew we had frozen hamburgers patties and buns.
We had a variety of chips, sodas and packaged cookies.
We also had a wide selection of family board games.
This turned out to be the most memorable dinner party we had that year.
It was that night I realized the families in our church were more interested in spending time together than worried about eating off plates.
This started me thinking.
I remembered some of my fondest early memories were centered around various churches and informal meals such as pot-lucks, crock pots, and barbecues.
So a new strategy was born for hosting every family in our church and, later, every family in our neighborhood.
Take advantage of meals to create and build new friendships with the new neighbor, the mother on the soccer team whom you seemed to connect with on the sidelines, or the co-worker who is going through a difficult divorce.
I remember one of the keys to success in his career was entertaining his fellow officers and superiors.
I have many memories of elegant formal dinner parties, exotic cuisine, themed parties and lots of strangers in my home.
I married a military officer too.
He was close to retirement and in a position with mostly civilian employees.
I wasn't under the same pressure as my mother to entertain his co-workers.
However, my husband was an ordained elder in a small church; so there was pressure to be hospitable.
In fact, in the early days of our denomination, it was a requirement for the man being considered for the office of Elder to produce the family guest book.
More signatures in the book proved the family's home was open to friend and stranger alike.
We started off with a goal of inviting every church family to our house for dinner during the first year of our marriage.
In my mind I had to use the wedding china, find international entrees, unique desserts, scrub the house and dress up.
This high standard quickly became too stressful to maintain.
Quite by accident I discovered a new and easier way of being hospitable.
One night a family was coming over for dinner and I wasn't prepared.
I think I was in the throws of morning sickness at the time.
I knew we had frozen hamburgers patties and buns.
We had a variety of chips, sodas and packaged cookies.
We also had a wide selection of family board games.
This turned out to be the most memorable dinner party we had that year.
It was that night I realized the families in our church were more interested in spending time together than worried about eating off plates.
This started me thinking.
I remembered some of my fondest early memories were centered around various churches and informal meals such as pot-lucks, crock pots, and barbecues.
So a new strategy was born for hosting every family in our church and, later, every family in our neighborhood.
- Pick foods which are generally liked by all and which are easy to prepare.
Examples include: tacos, spaghetti, grilled meats, chili, pizza, and sub sandwiches. - Consider the family coming over.
Do they have kids? How many and what are their ages? Make your home comfortable and enjoyable for them.
If there are babies and toddlers, put up gates to keep them contained in the area where everyone else is.
This keeps you and their parents from worrying about them falling down stairs or getting into dangerous situations.
It also frees the parents from having to constantly jump up and go find them.
Put all breakables and precious things out of their reach.
Have games, toys, books, activities and movies available for older children.
If some children need more attention and supervision, consider hiring a neighbor teen to watch them.
This gives the adults a chance to talk without interruption.
This alone will make the night memorable and enjoyable for your guests.
- Decide on the purpose of getting together.
To get to know them over a meal and casual conversation? An excuse to have a wine-tasting? Watch a football game? Watch a movie? Once you decide, plan accordingly.
We have a special way we set up our TV room for movies so it feels like a theater.
I've purchased movie style popcorn holders and movie style snacks.
When we host our children's friends, we even give them each movie tickets and food tickets to use "at the concession stand.
" - Clean up as much as you can before they arrive.
Stop cleaning once the first guest arrives.
No one is going to worry about the sink load of dishes but you.
You'll enjoy your evening and guests more if you stop worrying about what you didn't do. - You can have fun and easy themes too.
Here are just a few suggestions to make the evening together memorable: Build Your Own Pizza, Bring Your Own Pot of Chili, Help Create a Huge Sundae, Bring Your Own Wok, etc. - Finally, do be afraid to ask your guest to bring something to help out.
I find most people are ready and eager to bring something and are grateful someone carried enough to spend some time with them.
Take advantage of meals to create and build new friendships with the new neighbor, the mother on the soccer team whom you seemed to connect with on the sidelines, or the co-worker who is going through a difficult divorce.
