When the time comes for you to realistically consider home care for loved ones who can no longer safely live on their own, nine times out of ten you will meet with their strong resistance.
The people who very much need the care are generally adamantly against giving up their independence and autonomy, and that is understandable.
But, rather than coming up against their resistance with your own arguments, stand back and try to offer appropriate responses that acknowledge their feelings and provide suggestions to alleviate their fears.
Here are 10 tips to help you handle resistance to home care:

1. When your parent says, "I don't need any help," point outhow overwhelmed she gets doing normal household chores; or how she forgetsto renew important prescriptions, or how she has set off the smoke alarmseveral times in a month, or any other specific examples.
   Then tell herhow much more comfortable and less confusing her life would be with help.
   Show her that home care would enable her to stay in her home as long aspossible.
   
2. When your parent says, "I like things done my way.
   I'm theonly one who knows what to give your father to eat," tell her she canbe involved in supervising the home caregiver.
   
3. When your parent says, "I don't want a stranger in myhouse," allay her fears by staying over one or two days and bypopping in to see how things are at different hours of the day and night.
   
4. When your parent says, "I'm not throwing away my savings whenI can manage on my own," contact her accountant or financial plannerto assure her that she can afford help.
   Also discuss the fact that it isnot practical to worry about savings at this time in her life.
   
5. When your parent says, "I won't have any of those people in myhouse," discuss the matter of prejudice and urge her simply to givethe home caregiver a try.
   
6. When your parent says, "Absolutely no," contact the homecare agency and arrange a home visit with another senior who is happy withher care giver.
   Seeing a positive situation is always good motivation.
   
7. Encourage your parent to express her fears and concerns about whatis happening to her.
   
8. Discuss what would happen if she won't let people help her.
   Let herexperience a day without your help -- no meals, soiled clothing -- so thatshe sees that she needs regular assistance.
   
9. Slowly introduce your parent to outside services.
   For example,arrange to have someone deliver her meals or do her shopping.
   A kind,compassionate person coming into her home may earn her trust and prepareher to be open to further assistance.
   
10. If the situation requires immediate attention, consider hiring ageriatric care manager who has the expertise to help your parent acceptassistance.