What About Bob? AKA, How to Deal With Overzealous Guests With Cameras at Weddings
What about Bob? AKA, How to Deal With Overzealous Guests With Cameras (GWC's) At Weddings One of the most common sources of frustration for wedding photographers everywhere is guests whose single-minded pursuit of their own photos can impede the execution of one's duties.
In my opinion, one of the best steps that you can take is prevention.
I include a discussion of GWC's as part of my consultation and planning with every client.
I encourage them to consider and identify potential GWC problems before the wedding even occurs, and openly address the issue if a problem can be anticipated.
However, that doesn't always work, and so contingency plans should be established.
Obviously, the simplest method for dealing with these sorts of people is to work around them.
However, some GWC's are so aggressive that they will significantly detract from your ability to provide coverage unless the situation is addressed.
I'm going to step outside of the world of photography, and draw upon my experience in guerrilla warfare in making suggestions on how to deal with troublesome guest-photographers.
Some of the most important principles at work here: 1.
Know your enemy 2.
Understand their motivations 3.
Win the hearts and minds (WHAM) where possible 4.
Attack the enemy's support structure and destroy their auxiliary network It is vital first to recognize that these GWC's are not a homogenous group.
The first step in handling a GWC situation is to identify what manner of GWC you're dealing with.
GWC's can be divided into the following groups: The enthusiast Typically, this guest simply loves taking pictures.
They may only have a 1.
2 megapixel point-and-shoot, or even a camera phone, but they have a massive enthusiasm for photography.
Some may have advanced kits, but precious few will have any skill or training.
This sort of guest will frequently be so focused on their pursuit of the shot that they frequently either wander in front of you, or wander into your background.
They may also disrupt your operations with the use of their flash, especially if you are using any kind of optical triggers.
The motivation of this manner of GWC is pursuing their love of photography, and trying to get great shots for the family.
This is crucial, because you can use both of these motivations to your advantage.
This type of GWC does NOT initially view you (the photographer) as an adversary.
Generally speaking, these types of guests cause problems out of ignorance and enthusiasm rather than malice! However, many photographers approach the relationship as adversarial from the get-go, which closes down many effective approaches to dealing with the situation.
Enthusiasts are a prime opportunity for "winning the hearts and minds.
" My favorite approach is to proactively seek out these people when I identify them, and attempt to build rapport by offering photography tips, and even in some cases a quick chance to try out a piece of gear.
For instance, I'll frequently allow an enthusiast with a Digital Rebel to try out my spare 430ex and teach them to bounce flash while the guests are eating (and thus nothing important is happening).
Most importantly, this makes this enthusiast REALLY like you, which in turn makes them WANT to help you by staying out of your way.
This also encourages them to be aware of where you are (so they can learn by watching you work!), which actually decreases the likelihood that they will walk into your shots in pursuit of their own.
A WHAM approach has the additional benefit of the fact that many of these enthusiasts are also consumers of photography, and may lead to follow-on work or referrals.
If the "winning the hearts and minds" approach fails, direct confrontation with enthusiasts may be counter-productive.
I have found that it is generally better to go after their support structure in these cases.
More details on this in the next two sections.
The portfolio-builder Typically (but not always), the portfolio-builder is a friend or non-immediate relation who has recently started or dreams of starting their own photography business.
This type of GWC has VERY different motivations from the Enthusiast.
Frequently, this type of guest isn't concerned with the pure joy of photography, nor do they really care about providing great shots to the couple as a service.
This sort of GWC selfishly considers their friend/family's important day primarily as an opportunity to enrich his/her website.
This sort of guest not only interferes with your shots by blocking you, excessive flash use, or appearing in your background...
they will frequently follow you around the event and attempt to mimic your "setup" shots, even going so far as to shoot over your shoulder.
Despite this sort of guest's selfish motivations, it is still possible to attempt a WHAM approach.
Once you identify a portfolio builder, proactively engage them with an apparent openness to networking.
"Oh you're starting a photography business? We should hook up! Maybe I can send you some business for dates that I have booked!" Once this GWC starts to look at your favor as being a possible boon to their business, they will actively court it and seek to ingratiate themselves.
At this point, you have the excellent opportunity to compliment them on what a great job they are doing at staying out of your shots, and how you appreciate that they AREN'T trying to rip you off.
Obviously, this may be the opposite of the truth.
Tell a quick anecdote about another GWC of the past who wasn't so well behaved.
This will put the seed in their mind of how they DON'T want to act without causing them to be defensive.
They will hopefully consider your potential value in networking to be worth staying in your good graces by adjusting their behavior.
If the WHAM approach fails, then direct confrontation may be extremely difficult here.
This guest probably realizes deep down that they are behaving selfishly, and can quickly become defensive if they feel they are under attack.
Rather, consider that these guests typically have a spouse, significant other, or family member in attendance who is probably already rolling their eyes at this misbehavior.
Attack this GWC's support base, who is permissively allowing this behavior to occur.
Work through the wedding party, planner, or all-else-failing the bride and groom to put a halt to this person's interference.
An angry spouse has MUCH more authority over this GWC than you do.
You may simply be viewed as a prima-donna vendor if you directly confront the offender, but they will have a very hard time ignoring the bride and groom's wishes.
In any situation where you are forced to suggest behavior modification, whether through an intermediary or directly, it is a subtle but important point that you should NEVER couch the situation in terms of "so-and-so is getting in MY way.
" The minute you make this person's behavior about YOU, you limit the auxiliary's willingness to help.
On a wedding day, no one typically cares much about a vendor's life being made more difficult.
Rather, you should ALWAYS be scrupulous to couch your comments in terms of "this person is impeding my ability to give the bride and groom the best photos possible.
" It may seem subtle, but this simple shift in phrasing has now shifted the problem from my-life-being-more-difficult to this-person-is-hurting-the-couple's-photos.
The Pro Most of us pros studiously avoid bringing our gear to weddings that we attend as guests.
We shoot plenty of weddings to have our fill of "the joy of wedding photography," and we typically have more than enough portfolio material.
Thus, if you have a guest who is a real pro bringing a camera to a wedding, there are only two likely causes: 1.
The pro's family/friends have pressured them into taking a few shots.
2.
The pro, for whatever reason, doubts your competence and wants to serve as a backstop in case your photos are terrible.
Fortunately, a real pro is really unlikely to be in your way very much.
Pro photographers have better situational awareness, and are used to working around other shooters.
Most would consider it a point of pride that they never impede another shooter.
This is one of the few cases where directly addressing any impedance to the GWC is often the most effective course of action.
If they are getting in your way, professional courtesy will often cause them to respond immediately to a tap on the shoulder, or a polite professional comment.
Again, this sort of GWC is the least likely to cause problems anyway, but your best defense in this situation is to demonstrate confidence and competence in your own work.
If you're doing all the right things, and obviously doing a good job, then the pro is far more likely to scale down any effort that they might be making, because, lets face it, they probably aren't thrilled to have a camera at this wedding in the first place.
If this GWC is still causing problems after the above approach has been attempted, then working through the auxiliary is still the way to go, especially since there is a good chance that auxiliary pressure is why this person is shooting to begin with.
I'll close by saying that no matter how deftly you attempt to handle a GWC situation, there are some that are just one-man-wrecking-crews that seem to intentionally attempt to destroy every one of your shots.
They will ignore you, their family, the B&G, and even the Lord above himself in pursuit of their nefarious aims.
However, these represent a tiny minority of GWC's, and the vast majority are easily dealt with through the means described above.
In my opinion, one of the best steps that you can take is prevention.
I include a discussion of GWC's as part of my consultation and planning with every client.
I encourage them to consider and identify potential GWC problems before the wedding even occurs, and openly address the issue if a problem can be anticipated.
However, that doesn't always work, and so contingency plans should be established.
Obviously, the simplest method for dealing with these sorts of people is to work around them.
However, some GWC's are so aggressive that they will significantly detract from your ability to provide coverage unless the situation is addressed.
I'm going to step outside of the world of photography, and draw upon my experience in guerrilla warfare in making suggestions on how to deal with troublesome guest-photographers.
Some of the most important principles at work here: 1.
Know your enemy 2.
Understand their motivations 3.
Win the hearts and minds (WHAM) where possible 4.
Attack the enemy's support structure and destroy their auxiliary network It is vital first to recognize that these GWC's are not a homogenous group.
The first step in handling a GWC situation is to identify what manner of GWC you're dealing with.
GWC's can be divided into the following groups: The enthusiast Typically, this guest simply loves taking pictures.
They may only have a 1.
2 megapixel point-and-shoot, or even a camera phone, but they have a massive enthusiasm for photography.
Some may have advanced kits, but precious few will have any skill or training.
This sort of guest will frequently be so focused on their pursuit of the shot that they frequently either wander in front of you, or wander into your background.
They may also disrupt your operations with the use of their flash, especially if you are using any kind of optical triggers.
The motivation of this manner of GWC is pursuing their love of photography, and trying to get great shots for the family.
This is crucial, because you can use both of these motivations to your advantage.
This type of GWC does NOT initially view you (the photographer) as an adversary.
Generally speaking, these types of guests cause problems out of ignorance and enthusiasm rather than malice! However, many photographers approach the relationship as adversarial from the get-go, which closes down many effective approaches to dealing with the situation.
Enthusiasts are a prime opportunity for "winning the hearts and minds.
" My favorite approach is to proactively seek out these people when I identify them, and attempt to build rapport by offering photography tips, and even in some cases a quick chance to try out a piece of gear.
For instance, I'll frequently allow an enthusiast with a Digital Rebel to try out my spare 430ex and teach them to bounce flash while the guests are eating (and thus nothing important is happening).
Most importantly, this makes this enthusiast REALLY like you, which in turn makes them WANT to help you by staying out of your way.
This also encourages them to be aware of where you are (so they can learn by watching you work!), which actually decreases the likelihood that they will walk into your shots in pursuit of their own.
A WHAM approach has the additional benefit of the fact that many of these enthusiasts are also consumers of photography, and may lead to follow-on work or referrals.
If the "winning the hearts and minds" approach fails, direct confrontation with enthusiasts may be counter-productive.
I have found that it is generally better to go after their support structure in these cases.
More details on this in the next two sections.
The portfolio-builder Typically (but not always), the portfolio-builder is a friend or non-immediate relation who has recently started or dreams of starting their own photography business.
This type of GWC has VERY different motivations from the Enthusiast.
Frequently, this type of guest isn't concerned with the pure joy of photography, nor do they really care about providing great shots to the couple as a service.
This sort of GWC selfishly considers their friend/family's important day primarily as an opportunity to enrich his/her website.
This sort of guest not only interferes with your shots by blocking you, excessive flash use, or appearing in your background...
they will frequently follow you around the event and attempt to mimic your "setup" shots, even going so far as to shoot over your shoulder.
Despite this sort of guest's selfish motivations, it is still possible to attempt a WHAM approach.
Once you identify a portfolio builder, proactively engage them with an apparent openness to networking.
"Oh you're starting a photography business? We should hook up! Maybe I can send you some business for dates that I have booked!" Once this GWC starts to look at your favor as being a possible boon to their business, they will actively court it and seek to ingratiate themselves.
At this point, you have the excellent opportunity to compliment them on what a great job they are doing at staying out of your shots, and how you appreciate that they AREN'T trying to rip you off.
Obviously, this may be the opposite of the truth.
Tell a quick anecdote about another GWC of the past who wasn't so well behaved.
This will put the seed in their mind of how they DON'T want to act without causing them to be defensive.
They will hopefully consider your potential value in networking to be worth staying in your good graces by adjusting their behavior.
If the WHAM approach fails, then direct confrontation may be extremely difficult here.
This guest probably realizes deep down that they are behaving selfishly, and can quickly become defensive if they feel they are under attack.
Rather, consider that these guests typically have a spouse, significant other, or family member in attendance who is probably already rolling their eyes at this misbehavior.
Attack this GWC's support base, who is permissively allowing this behavior to occur.
Work through the wedding party, planner, or all-else-failing the bride and groom to put a halt to this person's interference.
An angry spouse has MUCH more authority over this GWC than you do.
You may simply be viewed as a prima-donna vendor if you directly confront the offender, but they will have a very hard time ignoring the bride and groom's wishes.
In any situation where you are forced to suggest behavior modification, whether through an intermediary or directly, it is a subtle but important point that you should NEVER couch the situation in terms of "so-and-so is getting in MY way.
" The minute you make this person's behavior about YOU, you limit the auxiliary's willingness to help.
On a wedding day, no one typically cares much about a vendor's life being made more difficult.
Rather, you should ALWAYS be scrupulous to couch your comments in terms of "this person is impeding my ability to give the bride and groom the best photos possible.
" It may seem subtle, but this simple shift in phrasing has now shifted the problem from my-life-being-more-difficult to this-person-is-hurting-the-couple's-photos.
The Pro Most of us pros studiously avoid bringing our gear to weddings that we attend as guests.
We shoot plenty of weddings to have our fill of "the joy of wedding photography," and we typically have more than enough portfolio material.
Thus, if you have a guest who is a real pro bringing a camera to a wedding, there are only two likely causes: 1.
The pro's family/friends have pressured them into taking a few shots.
2.
The pro, for whatever reason, doubts your competence and wants to serve as a backstop in case your photos are terrible.
Fortunately, a real pro is really unlikely to be in your way very much.
Pro photographers have better situational awareness, and are used to working around other shooters.
Most would consider it a point of pride that they never impede another shooter.
This is one of the few cases where directly addressing any impedance to the GWC is often the most effective course of action.
If they are getting in your way, professional courtesy will often cause them to respond immediately to a tap on the shoulder, or a polite professional comment.
Again, this sort of GWC is the least likely to cause problems anyway, but your best defense in this situation is to demonstrate confidence and competence in your own work.
If you're doing all the right things, and obviously doing a good job, then the pro is far more likely to scale down any effort that they might be making, because, lets face it, they probably aren't thrilled to have a camera at this wedding in the first place.
If this GWC is still causing problems after the above approach has been attempted, then working through the auxiliary is still the way to go, especially since there is a good chance that auxiliary pressure is why this person is shooting to begin with.
I'll close by saying that no matter how deftly you attempt to handle a GWC situation, there are some that are just one-man-wrecking-crews that seem to intentionally attempt to destroy every one of your shots.
They will ignore you, their family, the B&G, and even the Lord above himself in pursuit of their nefarious aims.
However, these represent a tiny minority of GWC's, and the vast majority are easily dealt with through the means described above.
