DO AFRICAN MEN AND WOMEN REACT THE SAME WAY WHEN THEY ARE HURT?
One thing we should know is that men have a very specific list of common things women do that cause them to lose that feeling of ATTRACTION AND BECOME DISTRACTED.
What are you doing that makes the man you're with have that intense feeling of ATTRACTION?
And what are you doing that makes him lose this feeling and become distracted? Are you focused on what's wrong with him and your relationship and having more conflict and fights as a result?
Or are you triggering that magic feeling of attraction inside him which is the surest way to tell and remind him that you're the one woman he
wants to be with?
A woman must always try to find out what makes a man feel that
deep and lasting kind of attraction for you, to where he'll be begging for more of your time and attention. There are common "issues" that men have with women in relationships, and what these are really about women do not have the time to explore, find out and use it well to keep their men and the relationship clear of the dangers of issues so you can have a healthy and lasting relationship.....
A SHORT TRUE STORY
I've got a close female friend who I've known for over 15 years. I will use the name MARIATU for confidentiality. Mariatu is an amazing woman - about 35 years old, smart, beautiful, successful, divorced 2 years ago and she's been in a relationship with a guy she really likes for about 7 months.
When she first met her boyfriend, she hadn't had a relationship since her past marriage. And although it took a minute for her to feel comfortable moving back into a relationship, she quickly settled in and was loving it, and her time with him. But then about 3 or 4 months into the relationship, something happened.
A good friend of hers had her marriage fall apart. And this was the friend whose relationship was the one everyone in their group looked to as the one whose relationship was strong and would last. Well, it turned out that her husband decided to break the relationship off with what was little or no warning, and her friend was crushed. Mariatu was really affected by this, and it must have brought back a lot of fear and uncertainty from her past marriage - because as soon as this happened, Mariatu`s relationship started changing.
Mariatu go from excited, content, inspired and engaged in her relationship - to having all kinds of doubts and questions about her relationship and the man in her life. A few months later Mariatu and I talked and she told me that things weren't going well in her relationship. In fact, they weren't together anymore. She told me that she wasn't sure about him anymore, and she wasn't having the kind of connection and communication she wanted from him.
She told me that she was feeling like he wasn't talking anymore, and that there were things she felt he wasn't telling her. Each time I talked to Mariatu and her relationship came up, I could hear this doubt and uncertainty in her voice and I knew this was the kind of energy she was carrying in her relationship. After talking with Mariatu, and hearing what was going on with her, we ended up getting to the bottom of some things that had been going on for her: Mariatu had been incredibly strong, moved past her old failed marriage, and freed herself up to move on to a new relationship. And she had found a great guy. But when she heard about her good friend's marriage falling apart, her buttons got pushed. Suddenly Mariatu`s attention in her relationship was no longer on what she enjoyed, and what was WORKING.
Instead, because of her fears and her past experiences, her attention and focus shifted to thinking about and watching out for PROBLEMS, issues, and what WASN'T WORKING.
In short, Mariatu had created a shift in her relationship that had created a kind of "disconnect" from her guy. And even though her boyfriend was the same guy that he had been, Mariatu started to see that it was her constant fixation on any potential problems which was starting to ruin her relationship - and cause her boyfriend to feel and respond differently. And of course the more her boyfriend was affected by her this way, the more worried and convinced she became that there must be something going on with him.
So what was the result of Mariatu`s focus on what could be wrong?
Mariatu started looking for and finding problems in her relationship where there hadn't been any before. The moments when Mariatu didn't feel quite sure about him and their relationship turned into moments where she started feeling awful inside. And the more she worried, the less of a positive response she seemed to get from her boyfriend. It seemed like he had totally changed from this open and loving guy to a moody and on edge person who didn't seem to listen to her anymore.
What had happened to him?
Why was he acting this way?
Eventually, Mariatu told me that her boyfriend had shared with her that he was feeling "weighed down" by their relationship, and that her constant need to have him help her feel better about their relationship was making him see her as needy. After 7 months of dating, spending time together, and growing closer her boyfriend ended up telling her that he didn't think he was ready for such a serious relationship. Mariatu was crushed by this, and she didn't understand why he said that, or what it really meant. They were great together. And she couldn't understand why he had changed from the guy he was before. She didn't want him to act this way. She just wanted some reassurance. And he wasn't giving it to her anymore.
If only he would just help her feel better, their relationship wouldn't have these problems. But was it proper for the man to have suffered psychologically and physically in the relationship because of the problems of Mariatu`s friend`s sudden breakup with the husband?
THE MODERN AFRICAN WOMAN:-TODAY Need a Man Who is Truly COMMITTED to being with on a Physical, Mental, Emotional, and even Spiritual Level. Not Coerced, not Forced, not Convinced. Do Men truly COMMIT and Choose to Love and Become Loyal, Caring, Affectionate, Just Because a Woman WANTS THEM TO?
What are you doing that makes the man you're with have that intense feeling of ATTRACTION?
And what are you doing that makes him lose this feeling and become distracted? Are you focused on what's wrong with him and your relationship and having more conflict and fights as a result?
Or are you triggering that magic feeling of attraction inside him which is the surest way to tell and remind him that you're the one woman he
wants to be with?
A woman must always try to find out what makes a man feel that
deep and lasting kind of attraction for you, to where he'll be begging for more of your time and attention. There are common "issues" that men have with women in relationships, and what these are really about women do not have the time to explore, find out and use it well to keep their men and the relationship clear of the dangers of issues so you can have a healthy and lasting relationship.....
A SHORT TRUE STORY
I've got a close female friend who I've known for over 15 years. I will use the name MARIATU for confidentiality. Mariatu is an amazing woman - about 35 years old, smart, beautiful, successful, divorced 2 years ago and she's been in a relationship with a guy she really likes for about 7 months.
When she first met her boyfriend, she hadn't had a relationship since her past marriage. And although it took a minute for her to feel comfortable moving back into a relationship, she quickly settled in and was loving it, and her time with him. But then about 3 or 4 months into the relationship, something happened.
A good friend of hers had her marriage fall apart. And this was the friend whose relationship was the one everyone in their group looked to as the one whose relationship was strong and would last. Well, it turned out that her husband decided to break the relationship off with what was little or no warning, and her friend was crushed. Mariatu was really affected by this, and it must have brought back a lot of fear and uncertainty from her past marriage - because as soon as this happened, Mariatu`s relationship started changing.
Mariatu go from excited, content, inspired and engaged in her relationship - to having all kinds of doubts and questions about her relationship and the man in her life. A few months later Mariatu and I talked and she told me that things weren't going well in her relationship. In fact, they weren't together anymore. She told me that she wasn't sure about him anymore, and she wasn't having the kind of connection and communication she wanted from him.
She told me that she was feeling like he wasn't talking anymore, and that there were things she felt he wasn't telling her. Each time I talked to Mariatu and her relationship came up, I could hear this doubt and uncertainty in her voice and I knew this was the kind of energy she was carrying in her relationship. After talking with Mariatu, and hearing what was going on with her, we ended up getting to the bottom of some things that had been going on for her: Mariatu had been incredibly strong, moved past her old failed marriage, and freed herself up to move on to a new relationship. And she had found a great guy. But when she heard about her good friend's marriage falling apart, her buttons got pushed. Suddenly Mariatu`s attention in her relationship was no longer on what she enjoyed, and what was WORKING.
Instead, because of her fears and her past experiences, her attention and focus shifted to thinking about and watching out for PROBLEMS, issues, and what WASN'T WORKING.
In short, Mariatu had created a shift in her relationship that had created a kind of "disconnect" from her guy. And even though her boyfriend was the same guy that he had been, Mariatu started to see that it was her constant fixation on any potential problems which was starting to ruin her relationship - and cause her boyfriend to feel and respond differently. And of course the more her boyfriend was affected by her this way, the more worried and convinced she became that there must be something going on with him.
So what was the result of Mariatu`s focus on what could be wrong?
Mariatu started looking for and finding problems in her relationship where there hadn't been any before. The moments when Mariatu didn't feel quite sure about him and their relationship turned into moments where she started feeling awful inside. And the more she worried, the less of a positive response she seemed to get from her boyfriend. It seemed like he had totally changed from this open and loving guy to a moody and on edge person who didn't seem to listen to her anymore.
What had happened to him?
Why was he acting this way?
Eventually, Mariatu told me that her boyfriend had shared with her that he was feeling "weighed down" by their relationship, and that her constant need to have him help her feel better about their relationship was making him see her as needy. After 7 months of dating, spending time together, and growing closer her boyfriend ended up telling her that he didn't think he was ready for such a serious relationship. Mariatu was crushed by this, and she didn't understand why he said that, or what it really meant. They were great together. And she couldn't understand why he had changed from the guy he was before. She didn't want him to act this way. She just wanted some reassurance. And he wasn't giving it to her anymore.
If only he would just help her feel better, their relationship wouldn't have these problems. But was it proper for the man to have suffered psychologically and physically in the relationship because of the problems of Mariatu`s friend`s sudden breakup with the husband?
THE MODERN AFRICAN WOMAN:-TODAY Need a Man Who is Truly COMMITTED to being with on a Physical, Mental, Emotional, and even Spiritual Level. Not Coerced, not Forced, not Convinced. Do Men truly COMMIT and Choose to Love and Become Loyal, Caring, Affectionate, Just Because a Woman WANTS THEM TO?
