Relapse Vs Conscious Choice: Why Do You Pick Up Addiction and Do It Again?
Is it a relapse or is it a conscious choice?
I thought of writing this article because as spring arrives so does more temptation.
Soon, there will be people sitting in the park or outside pubs drinking. Pretty much, whenever I go out its in my face!
The late summer nights with a flavour of party in the air and parties resonating from your neighbours gardens and by the time you know it you see yourself starting to make excuses to justify a relapse. Excuses like €alcohol should be banned in public places, alcohol advertising should also be banned, it's not fair I can't go to summer festivals like everybody else.€
I'm good at making excuses, not just in spring but Christmas, New Year, birthdays and so on. There are always going to be excuses if you look for them. Your addiction is always behind the door waiting for you to open it.
Before you know it, you are mentally preparing your relapse and convincing yourself that relapse is inevitable. You are setting up a platform to fall back on and watch videos and search for information of other peoples' relapse stories and you feel it is not such a big deal after all. Next, you are preparing those closest to you for your relapse too by explaining to them that a relapse would not be the end of the world.
Now that I have been free from any destructible substances for a while, I have come to realise that the word €relapse' is a synonym of €excuse'. I believe that we know when we are on a slippery slope to a relapse and that we recognise and acknowledge all the triggers and the warning signs.
You have probably been deliberating for a month or more or before it happens, that is not to say it does not happen on impulse, as for many people it does, it is just that a relapse is planned.
When it happens maybe it will be just a lapse for one day or one night but you could relapse more than once in a short space of time and quickly go back to destructive behaviour patterns.
Either way, you made a choice before you picked up whatever substance it is that is a problem for you and you knew where it would take you in the end. You assessed and weighed up the pros and cons. The truth is YOU made a conscious decision to relapse.
Why do many people relapse against their best efforts and the urging of their friends and family?
Most addictions serve one purpose, which is an unconscious attempt to reduce inner pain. What I mean by inner pain is, a collection of very unpleasant and intense emotions. These emotions range from shame, guilt, anxiety or fear to loneliness, emptiness, despair and rage. A mix of any of those feeling together can be called inner pain.
Most addicts in my experience acquire a great deal of inner turmoil stemming from childhood. It could be the adults that raised them traumatized them intentionally or often unintentionally and it is most likely that the adults with the parental roles themselves had negative childhood experiences that stayed with them and shaped their behaviours as adults.
If someone enters adulthood with no natural mechanism for processing and managing emotions (and lets not forget happiness, excitement and joy as these too are emotions that many addicts find hard to manage) they can turn to substance abuse as a way of processing things instead, this is sometimes called self-medicating. Slowly but surely, the substance or substances of choice become an everyday way of reducing inner turmoil without having to deal with emotions. Addiction is an avoidance of what it is to be truly human.
How to prevent relapse and avoid relapse in recovery from addiction
Know your triggers, spot them and know what to do. Consider carefully when you start thinking about relapsing, if you really want a slip back to your old ways. I remind myself of how bad it was in my active addiction and how one relapse could sabotage my life. Which one will you choose; it's your call?
I know what so called experts say; to call someone, go to an addiction meeting and take things one minute at a time or even one day at a time but I believe all this just goes over your head because once the trigger are activated in your mind, it is often hard to think of anything or anyone else.
Anyone with an addiction knows it comes first and as someone who went through all that I found that a desire greater that my addiction, something that gives me a better feeling than my old way of escaping my feelings, could keep me from relapsing.
€To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.€ Kofi Annan
So, find an activity, work, passion, interest or people (or all of them) that motivates you to move away from addiction and hang on to it, preserve and work at it everyday. This is what will prevent you from relapsing. Find one thing or feeling that brings you a natural high and remember it is too good to lose because it provides you with inner peace and that is all you are really craving for INNER PEACE.
Obviously sitting down feeling sorry for yourself, telling yourself you are powerless, hopeless and incurable whilst waiting for this power greater than yourself to save you is appealing but it is nothing more than an easy way out of your responsibility when you relapse. Yes miracles do happen but you also have to work at it, you have to believe that it is possible to be free of damaging addictions in the first place. Believe you are powerful not powerless!
In moments of despair, it will only be you and your desire to live, nothing else that can stop you from relapsing and making the right decision. Only you can keep the door of temptation closed by finding happiness, peace and purpose within you, so great that it overshadows the addiction.
Recognise the warning signs and take action before it is too late.
What have you done to fill up your cons list? What do you have to hang on to? What is it that is worth living for? It's on the basis of all these questions that you'll decide whether to relapse or not. A slip can remind you of why you stopped your addiction in the first place but a relapse, I feel is deeper than that, it's a change back to old ways of life.
The only way you are going to relapse is if you choose to. If you do relapse, don't try to make excuses for it just accept it and move on, it's not day one, recovery is a life long journey.
Keep in mind it does get easier and remember everyday is a victory and any defeat is not the end of the day!
I thought of writing this article because as spring arrives so does more temptation.
Soon, there will be people sitting in the park or outside pubs drinking. Pretty much, whenever I go out its in my face!
The late summer nights with a flavour of party in the air and parties resonating from your neighbours gardens and by the time you know it you see yourself starting to make excuses to justify a relapse. Excuses like €alcohol should be banned in public places, alcohol advertising should also be banned, it's not fair I can't go to summer festivals like everybody else.€
I'm good at making excuses, not just in spring but Christmas, New Year, birthdays and so on. There are always going to be excuses if you look for them. Your addiction is always behind the door waiting for you to open it.
Before you know it, you are mentally preparing your relapse and convincing yourself that relapse is inevitable. You are setting up a platform to fall back on and watch videos and search for information of other peoples' relapse stories and you feel it is not such a big deal after all. Next, you are preparing those closest to you for your relapse too by explaining to them that a relapse would not be the end of the world.
Now that I have been free from any destructible substances for a while, I have come to realise that the word €relapse' is a synonym of €excuse'. I believe that we know when we are on a slippery slope to a relapse and that we recognise and acknowledge all the triggers and the warning signs.
You have probably been deliberating for a month or more or before it happens, that is not to say it does not happen on impulse, as for many people it does, it is just that a relapse is planned.
When it happens maybe it will be just a lapse for one day or one night but you could relapse more than once in a short space of time and quickly go back to destructive behaviour patterns.
Either way, you made a choice before you picked up whatever substance it is that is a problem for you and you knew where it would take you in the end. You assessed and weighed up the pros and cons. The truth is YOU made a conscious decision to relapse.
Why do many people relapse against their best efforts and the urging of their friends and family?
Most addictions serve one purpose, which is an unconscious attempt to reduce inner pain. What I mean by inner pain is, a collection of very unpleasant and intense emotions. These emotions range from shame, guilt, anxiety or fear to loneliness, emptiness, despair and rage. A mix of any of those feeling together can be called inner pain.
Most addicts in my experience acquire a great deal of inner turmoil stemming from childhood. It could be the adults that raised them traumatized them intentionally or often unintentionally and it is most likely that the adults with the parental roles themselves had negative childhood experiences that stayed with them and shaped their behaviours as adults.
If someone enters adulthood with no natural mechanism for processing and managing emotions (and lets not forget happiness, excitement and joy as these too are emotions that many addicts find hard to manage) they can turn to substance abuse as a way of processing things instead, this is sometimes called self-medicating. Slowly but surely, the substance or substances of choice become an everyday way of reducing inner turmoil without having to deal with emotions. Addiction is an avoidance of what it is to be truly human.
How to prevent relapse and avoid relapse in recovery from addiction
Know your triggers, spot them and know what to do. Consider carefully when you start thinking about relapsing, if you really want a slip back to your old ways. I remind myself of how bad it was in my active addiction and how one relapse could sabotage my life. Which one will you choose; it's your call?
I know what so called experts say; to call someone, go to an addiction meeting and take things one minute at a time or even one day at a time but I believe all this just goes over your head because once the trigger are activated in your mind, it is often hard to think of anything or anyone else.
Anyone with an addiction knows it comes first and as someone who went through all that I found that a desire greater that my addiction, something that gives me a better feeling than my old way of escaping my feelings, could keep me from relapsing.
€To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.€ Kofi Annan
So, find an activity, work, passion, interest or people (or all of them) that motivates you to move away from addiction and hang on to it, preserve and work at it everyday. This is what will prevent you from relapsing. Find one thing or feeling that brings you a natural high and remember it is too good to lose because it provides you with inner peace and that is all you are really craving for INNER PEACE.
Obviously sitting down feeling sorry for yourself, telling yourself you are powerless, hopeless and incurable whilst waiting for this power greater than yourself to save you is appealing but it is nothing more than an easy way out of your responsibility when you relapse. Yes miracles do happen but you also have to work at it, you have to believe that it is possible to be free of damaging addictions in the first place. Believe you are powerful not powerless!
In moments of despair, it will only be you and your desire to live, nothing else that can stop you from relapsing and making the right decision. Only you can keep the door of temptation closed by finding happiness, peace and purpose within you, so great that it overshadows the addiction.
Recognise the warning signs and take action before it is too late.
What have you done to fill up your cons list? What do you have to hang on to? What is it that is worth living for? It's on the basis of all these questions that you'll decide whether to relapse or not. A slip can remind you of why you stopped your addiction in the first place but a relapse, I feel is deeper than that, it's a change back to old ways of life.
The only way you are going to relapse is if you choose to. If you do relapse, don't try to make excuses for it just accept it and move on, it's not day one, recovery is a life long journey.
Keep in mind it does get easier and remember everyday is a victory and any defeat is not the end of the day!
