How to Solve Behavioral Problems in Teenagers
Dealing with your teenage children can sometimes drive you to tears--or drink.
It need not.
Teenagers are special age children.
The special age is a line between puberty and adulthood.
So follow these simple steps and you will do a whole lot better in dealing with teenage children.
1.
Be a Role Model: It is difficult because your children have probably always seen you as a strict parent who does not allow any other opinions or views but your own.
It is hard to grow up suddenly and have them gain your trust.
So be patient as they come to know you a bit differently.
2.
Do Not Treat Teenagers as Children, but Adults: Again, it is very hard for us as parents to begin treating our children differently.
We say we do it, but truth is, we do not.
We still act like "helicopter moms" and "hovercraft dads", i.
e.
we demand to know everything that is going on in our child's life and usually have an opinion about it.
This is not going to get you good results.
In conversations and action you must come off as assumingyour teenager has the wisdom and judgement.
Merely saying they don't know anything is going to lead to conflict.
3.
Make Them Aware of Choices As children, you may have given in one too many times to your children's wishes.
One consequence of adulthood is that adults not only have choices, they are expected to choose and then live by the outcomeof their choice.
So make them aware, again as adults, of their choices.
They can work, earn moneyand have an expensive vacation on their own, or come with you on the value package you have chosen.
4.
Do Not Criticise, Offer Alternatives We as parents are quick to criticize our children, and unfortunately that habit grows.
We need to look at our teenagers as having gained some perspective and experience and not jump on the choices or decisions they have made.
If you engage them in discussion as adults, they will reciprocate.
5.
Communicate and Expect Adult Behavior Children can get away with sulking, crying, being inattentive.
Adults cannot.
Make your teenagers know you will have all the time for them, and you expect to have a good discussion.
Make sure they understand you will keep an open mind, at least through the discussion.
Otherwise they are liable to throw up their hand and say, why waste time? But it also means you have to be an adult.
Saying things like "why are you wasting time in poetry? you want to grow up to be a bum?" is not going to elevate your discussion to an adult level.
6.
Understand Your Teenager Unlike children, teenagers have drive, aspiration, aim, initiative and most of all, direction.
Value these in your child and make them know you do.
You aim to become their trusted friend.
Good luck.
It need not.
Teenagers are special age children.
The special age is a line between puberty and adulthood.
So follow these simple steps and you will do a whole lot better in dealing with teenage children.
1.
Be a Role Model: It is difficult because your children have probably always seen you as a strict parent who does not allow any other opinions or views but your own.
It is hard to grow up suddenly and have them gain your trust.
So be patient as they come to know you a bit differently.
2.
Do Not Treat Teenagers as Children, but Adults: Again, it is very hard for us as parents to begin treating our children differently.
We say we do it, but truth is, we do not.
We still act like "helicopter moms" and "hovercraft dads", i.
e.
we demand to know everything that is going on in our child's life and usually have an opinion about it.
This is not going to get you good results.
In conversations and action you must come off as assumingyour teenager has the wisdom and judgement.
Merely saying they don't know anything is going to lead to conflict.
3.
Make Them Aware of Choices As children, you may have given in one too many times to your children's wishes.
One consequence of adulthood is that adults not only have choices, they are expected to choose and then live by the outcomeof their choice.
So make them aware, again as adults, of their choices.
They can work, earn moneyand have an expensive vacation on their own, or come with you on the value package you have chosen.
4.
Do Not Criticise, Offer Alternatives We as parents are quick to criticize our children, and unfortunately that habit grows.
We need to look at our teenagers as having gained some perspective and experience and not jump on the choices or decisions they have made.
If you engage them in discussion as adults, they will reciprocate.
5.
Communicate and Expect Adult Behavior Children can get away with sulking, crying, being inattentive.
Adults cannot.
Make your teenagers know you will have all the time for them, and you expect to have a good discussion.
Make sure they understand you will keep an open mind, at least through the discussion.
Otherwise they are liable to throw up their hand and say, why waste time? But it also means you have to be an adult.
Saying things like "why are you wasting time in poetry? you want to grow up to be a bum?" is not going to elevate your discussion to an adult level.
6.
Understand Your Teenager Unlike children, teenagers have drive, aspiration, aim, initiative and most of all, direction.
Value these in your child and make them know you do.
You aim to become their trusted friend.
Good luck.
