In Depression You Are Very Hard To Help
Why is it so hard to admit we need help when suffering alone in severe depression? It's to do with shame surrounding the illness.
We ought to be able to cope.
We ought to be able to think ourselves out of depression.
But of course we can't.
Thinking yourself out of a severe illness? Are you kidding? So why do we constantly think that we should be able to? Where did that idea ever come from and why do we all think like that when it comes to depression? Shame is a terrible thing.
To feel ashamed about anything is an extremely difficult emotion to live with.
If on top of severe depression we also feel ashamed at being in depression it simply becomes too much for anyone to bear.
No wonder the fatality rate for those suffering is 15%.
No doubt too ashamed to admit they have the illness or to seek help.
Yet help is the only way out of depression.
Nobody can come out of depression on their own.
We all need help in one form or another.
The biggest help of all is a patient listener.
To be allowed to speak until we feel that we have been heard is one of the biggest gifts you can be offered by anyone.
To feel heard is to feel understood.
One of the best feelings in the world.
So where would you go to be listened to? Family and friends are the first people we think of.
Think again.
Once we have opened up and released frustrations through speaking, very often we can end up feeling resentful if the person listening is known to those we are perhaps speaking about.
Somebody neutral is best.
Which is why professional counselling is one of the best forms of being properly listened to.
In the UK counselling is offered on the NHS, even if the waiting list can be extremely long in some parts of the country.
Get your name on that list as soon as possible, and in the meantime, talk to a stranger, talk to your dog.
Or simply talk to your journal as you wait for a professional listener.
When we feel understood there comes an instant feeling of relief.
Relief at being heard for as long as we want to be heard.
No interruptions, no advice, nothing other than an empathetic ear.
You are not so hard to help after all.
Are you?
We ought to be able to cope.
We ought to be able to think ourselves out of depression.
But of course we can't.
Thinking yourself out of a severe illness? Are you kidding? So why do we constantly think that we should be able to? Where did that idea ever come from and why do we all think like that when it comes to depression? Shame is a terrible thing.
To feel ashamed about anything is an extremely difficult emotion to live with.
If on top of severe depression we also feel ashamed at being in depression it simply becomes too much for anyone to bear.
No wonder the fatality rate for those suffering is 15%.
No doubt too ashamed to admit they have the illness or to seek help.
Yet help is the only way out of depression.
Nobody can come out of depression on their own.
We all need help in one form or another.
The biggest help of all is a patient listener.
To be allowed to speak until we feel that we have been heard is one of the biggest gifts you can be offered by anyone.
To feel heard is to feel understood.
One of the best feelings in the world.
So where would you go to be listened to? Family and friends are the first people we think of.
Think again.
Once we have opened up and released frustrations through speaking, very often we can end up feeling resentful if the person listening is known to those we are perhaps speaking about.
Somebody neutral is best.
Which is why professional counselling is one of the best forms of being properly listened to.
In the UK counselling is offered on the NHS, even if the waiting list can be extremely long in some parts of the country.
Get your name on that list as soon as possible, and in the meantime, talk to a stranger, talk to your dog.
Or simply talk to your journal as you wait for a professional listener.
When we feel understood there comes an instant feeling of relief.
Relief at being heard for as long as we want to be heard.
No interruptions, no advice, nothing other than an empathetic ear.
You are not so hard to help after all.
Are you?
