The Crashing of Waves and Laughter of Sisters
I just got back from five days in Cabo San Lucas with a college friend.
No husband, no kids, actual adult "me" time.
Often, I've discovered, during these annual trips, I see myself again.
Amusingly, I witness the quirks of Kelly Ellen.
In my mind, I wish to be a wonderful, flexible traveler.
In reality, not so much.
Sensitive stomach, sleeplessness due to excitement, finicky eater.
When I step back and really see it, it's ridiculous.
Even as I type right now, I am blowing my nose from the cold I brought home from Mexico.
Pathetic.
And I giggle.
It is a funny thing indeed to witness the dichotomy of my hopeful mind's eye, and the starch truth of my behavior.
This flexible person in my mind's eye, just doesn't exist in reality.
Do we all decide how we should be and quietly berate ourselves for not measuring up?The hum of disapproval vibrating in our minds.
I am truly so much happier when I operate in the world from the truth of my behavior.
I am not a good traveler for all my so called good intentions, and now, I travel prepared - stomach cures, sleeping pills and power bars.
I am who I am.
I always return from these trips softened and empowered.
It's my annual girls' trip.
My friend and I met in the first few weeks of my freshman year at college.
We have always been mistaken for sisters as we look, dress and act similarly even to this day.
We are so much alike, yet our life choices have lead us on very different paths.
She is in international law and single.
I am married, mother of two and working from my home.
It is in these very differences that we are able to support each other.
She helps me access my identity before the rest of life crowded in.
She helps me play and frankly, stay young.
I brought 3 bikinis with me on this trip.
I haven't worn a bikini in maybe 12 years--I was a Mom, that time had past, my body wasn't perfect.
Again, I heard the hum of disapproval vibrating within.
But I did it anyway, and you know what, I looked good.
I looked around the beach and everyone was in bikinis, with all their different bodies for the entire world to see.
There were no perfect bodies.
Even the sixteen year olds had cellulite.
I didn't have to be perfect.
Finally, my mind's eye had softened to embrace reality.
The disapproving hum disappeared, only to be replaced by the crashing of waves and laughter of sisters.
No husband, no kids, actual adult "me" time.
Often, I've discovered, during these annual trips, I see myself again.
Amusingly, I witness the quirks of Kelly Ellen.
In my mind, I wish to be a wonderful, flexible traveler.
In reality, not so much.
Sensitive stomach, sleeplessness due to excitement, finicky eater.
When I step back and really see it, it's ridiculous.
Even as I type right now, I am blowing my nose from the cold I brought home from Mexico.
Pathetic.
And I giggle.
It is a funny thing indeed to witness the dichotomy of my hopeful mind's eye, and the starch truth of my behavior.
This flexible person in my mind's eye, just doesn't exist in reality.
Do we all decide how we should be and quietly berate ourselves for not measuring up?The hum of disapproval vibrating in our minds.
I am truly so much happier when I operate in the world from the truth of my behavior.
I am not a good traveler for all my so called good intentions, and now, I travel prepared - stomach cures, sleeping pills and power bars.
I am who I am.
I always return from these trips softened and empowered.
It's my annual girls' trip.
My friend and I met in the first few weeks of my freshman year at college.
We have always been mistaken for sisters as we look, dress and act similarly even to this day.
We are so much alike, yet our life choices have lead us on very different paths.
She is in international law and single.
I am married, mother of two and working from my home.
It is in these very differences that we are able to support each other.
She helps me access my identity before the rest of life crowded in.
She helps me play and frankly, stay young.
I brought 3 bikinis with me on this trip.
I haven't worn a bikini in maybe 12 years--I was a Mom, that time had past, my body wasn't perfect.
Again, I heard the hum of disapproval vibrating within.
But I did it anyway, and you know what, I looked good.
I looked around the beach and everyone was in bikinis, with all their different bodies for the entire world to see.
There were no perfect bodies.
Even the sixteen year olds had cellulite.
I didn't have to be perfect.
Finally, my mind's eye had softened to embrace reality.
The disapproving hum disappeared, only to be replaced by the crashing of waves and laughter of sisters.
