How to Stop Feeling Competitive With Colleagues
- 1). Identify the reasons for feeling competitive. Competitiveness can arise from childhood fears of insecurity when you had to always be the best to keep your parents happy. According to Dr. Phil McGraw, clinical psychologist and bestselling author, parents who focus on their child excelling at an activity rather than learning or enjoying it pass on an unhealthy spirit of competition.
- 2). Build healthy self-esteem. Prepare a list of your abilities and distinctive qualities. Look at this list whenever you feel the urge to compare yourself with your colleagues. Develop a healthy pride in your capabilities. Develop your specific skills in areas where you truly enjoy working.
- 3). Cheer your colleagues' accomplishments. Find genuine things to appreciate in your colleagues. Offer praise and compliments when speaking to them directly and when interacting with other colleagues. Appreciating others helps you to overcome the feeling that they are a threat and makes you feel more positive toward them.
- 4). Find opportunities to collaborate with your colleagues. Ask your supervisor to assign you to work on the same project. Focus on partnering with your colleagues to achieve the project goal. Motivational speaker Avery M. Henderson says that working to promote the organizational objectives sets up a sense of "coopetition" -- cooperation between competitors -- that is healthier than personal self-promotion.
- 5). Choose to be in the company of people who are contented. Pick up their attitude of finding joy in what you have rather than hankering for more. Avoid interaction with people who have a competitive streak because this fuels your feelings of competition.
