Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

Can Child Behaviour Problems Destroy An Otherwise Happy Marriage?

Behaviour problems in children and what are often called "problem children" are delicate topics to discuss. Often, child behaviour problems are indicative of other troubles in the family; this often proves true for children of divorce. Additionally, many parents of "problem children" dread discussing the topic of behaviour problems in children for fear of being accused of having caused those behaviour problems in children in the first place. They may not ask for support for children for fear of being blamed.

Seeking help for children who are experiencing child behaviour problems starts with looking at how behaviour develops, both in children we have labelled as "problem children", as well as in adults. The next step is to look at what is required to affect change.

Until recently, it was believed that the brain was mostly unchangeable after infancy. This would mean that we are all pretty much stuck the way we are. Therefore, support for children when there were child behaviour problems was often seen as difficult, and many child behaviour problems were thought of as impossible to resolve.

Fortunately, recent breakthroughs in the field of neuroplasticity have shown that the brain is not hard-wired and can change throughout our lifetime. With the right techniques and practice, we can make positive changes to our behaviour that can significantly improve our lives. This exciting new knowledge will provide help for children, and indeed the entire family.

Children of divorce as well as those from intact families do not need to be classified as "problem children" after all. Both the families of children of divorce and of intact families now have the ability to overcome unwanted patterns of behaviour that are keeping them from achieving what they want for their life. Parents can now provide powerful support for children by:

• Understanding what patterns of behaviour might have contributed to the situation at home.

• Learn the techniques that will help them eliminate their unwanted behaviour patterns so they can improve the well-being of their whole family.

I see families seeking help for children as beneficial as it ultimately enriches the entire family. I applaud families who have the courage to reach out for support for children because behaviour problems in children are in fact manageable. Getting help for children does not reflect poorly on parenting, and is the key to attaining a healthy, happy family for those who are facing challenges.


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