Get the "Me Time" You Need
The realities of motherhood can sometimes be harsh.
Indeed, if you are like most moms, you may be desperate for even a few minutes of time for yourself.
You might not understand how you can feel so overwhelmed and exhausted, and how things can feel so difficult, just because a child (or children) came along.
And yet, sometimes, moms' beliefs about themselves and about motherhood are at least in part to blame for their lack of time for themselves.
Answer the following 5 questions to see if your beliefs are preventing you from getting the 'me time' you need: 1.
Do you feel like you should be able to 'do it all' - including taking care of everybody else's needs and all of your daily responsibilities - and still feel perfectly okay? If the answer is 'yes', you may not be accepting: * Your own limitations.
* The reality of what you need to thrive.
'No' and 'I need help' are words that should come out of your mouth more often.
Not only do you need to take time out for yourself, but you also deserve to get your own needs met.
2.
Do you feel comfortable asking your partner to do more around the house and more childcare? If your answer is 'no', you may not want to deal with the repercussions of asking him - his anger, or difficult attitude, or the tension in your relationship that may arise because of your requests.
Although it may be hard to confront your partner about needing more help, know that staying silent now will cause far more marital distress in the long run.
By speaking up now, you are taking care of both yourself AND your marriage.
3.
Do you (and your partner?) believe that, since he is the primary or the only breadwinner, you have to do either all or the majority of childcare and household management? If your answer is 'yes', you may not fully appreciate the critical nature of the jobs that you have and value of the skills that you use each and every day.
Become firm in your knowledge of your infinite value: it's the first step toward changing the status quo.
4.
Do you feel guilty or like a bad mother if your child cries or complains when you leave him/her? If your answer is 'yes', it may mean that not only your child, but you also, are having issues with separation anxiety.
It may be time for you ask yourself about your own reaction to leaving your child with somebody else.
* When your child begins to cry, what do you feel? * What do you fear will happen if you leave? * How does it feel to be missed? 5.
Do you think that being a mom is not enough to entitle you to time for yourself? If you answered 'yes', you are truly underestimating just how hard motherhood is and just how important tending to yourself is to your own and your child's well being.
Remember: Even if you had no child, no job and no responsibilities, you would still deserve comfort and care.
Your value is intrinsic.
Nothing can take it away.
The fact that you do have a child and many responsibilities means that tending to yourself should be at the top of your 'to do' list.
Both you and your baby will benefit when you take time out for yourself, so give yourself the time you need not only for your sake, but also for the sake of the child(ren) whom you love so much.
Indeed, if you are like most moms, you may be desperate for even a few minutes of time for yourself.
You might not understand how you can feel so overwhelmed and exhausted, and how things can feel so difficult, just because a child (or children) came along.
And yet, sometimes, moms' beliefs about themselves and about motherhood are at least in part to blame for their lack of time for themselves.
Answer the following 5 questions to see if your beliefs are preventing you from getting the 'me time' you need: 1.
Do you feel like you should be able to 'do it all' - including taking care of everybody else's needs and all of your daily responsibilities - and still feel perfectly okay? If the answer is 'yes', you may not be accepting: * Your own limitations.
* The reality of what you need to thrive.
'No' and 'I need help' are words that should come out of your mouth more often.
Not only do you need to take time out for yourself, but you also deserve to get your own needs met.
2.
Do you feel comfortable asking your partner to do more around the house and more childcare? If your answer is 'no', you may not want to deal with the repercussions of asking him - his anger, or difficult attitude, or the tension in your relationship that may arise because of your requests.
Although it may be hard to confront your partner about needing more help, know that staying silent now will cause far more marital distress in the long run.
By speaking up now, you are taking care of both yourself AND your marriage.
3.
Do you (and your partner?) believe that, since he is the primary or the only breadwinner, you have to do either all or the majority of childcare and household management? If your answer is 'yes', you may not fully appreciate the critical nature of the jobs that you have and value of the skills that you use each and every day.
Become firm in your knowledge of your infinite value: it's the first step toward changing the status quo.
4.
Do you feel guilty or like a bad mother if your child cries or complains when you leave him/her? If your answer is 'yes', it may mean that not only your child, but you also, are having issues with separation anxiety.
It may be time for you ask yourself about your own reaction to leaving your child with somebody else.
* When your child begins to cry, what do you feel? * What do you fear will happen if you leave? * How does it feel to be missed? 5.
Do you think that being a mom is not enough to entitle you to time for yourself? If you answered 'yes', you are truly underestimating just how hard motherhood is and just how important tending to yourself is to your own and your child's well being.
Remember: Even if you had no child, no job and no responsibilities, you would still deserve comfort and care.
Your value is intrinsic.
Nothing can take it away.
The fact that you do have a child and many responsibilities means that tending to yourself should be at the top of your 'to do' list.
Both you and your baby will benefit when you take time out for yourself, so give yourself the time you need not only for your sake, but also for the sake of the child(ren) whom you love so much.
