Part I - The Power Of Forgiveness
What the Bible says about Forgiveness Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
- Colossians 3:13 To forgive someone for the wrong that has been done is easily said than done.
How many of us can truly say that we have let go of the past memories, hurts and pains without it really affecting our characters, emotions, decisions, relationships and actions? How many of us can truly say "we forgive so and so for hurting me" in lip service and yet harbour that pain quietly or even wallowing in self-pity? Are you able to let go of the past in order to embrace the future and even better things to come? Are you able to view your past and look at it positively to say that the past has been turned into something far greater in the later future? If you are not able to let go of the past, you can never embrace the future and move into greater things ahead.
Let's do a simple True and False questions to test whether your understanding of Forgiveness is right and is according to the Word of God.
Below are 5 simple questions.
All you need to do is to answer whether they are True or False.
1.
A person should not be forgiven until he/she ask for it? (T/F) 2.
When I have forgiven, I have minimized the offense done to me? (T/F) 3.
Forgiveness includes restoring the trust again.
(T/F) 4.
You have not really forgiven until you have forgotten the offense.
(T/F) 5.
When I know someone else who is being hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender.
(T/F) Tabulate your answers now.
How many True and False do you have? According to the Bible, all the five answers should be "False".
Let's see what the bible has to say about each of the above five answers on forgiveness.
1.
Forgiveness is unconditional.
Real forgiveness is given whether the person requires it or not.
It is never based on conditions nor is it offers to someone who asks for forgiveness.
The bible says that forgiveness is unconditional and you are to offer forgiveness whether the person deserves it or not, whether they ask for it or even whether they change their behaviour and attitude.
We are to forgive unconditionally just as Jesus forgives our sins unconditionally on the cross.
2.
Forgiveness does not minimize the offense.
When you are hurt, do not minimize the offense or else you cheapen forgiveness.
If forgiveness is treated lightly, then the offence is considered nothing.
Proverbs 26:18 to19 says that forgiveness must not be taken as a joke and laugh it off.
If it is so, then forgiveness is not taken seriously but has been cheapened to nothing.
3.
Forgiveness is not resuming the relationship without any efforts to atone for the offence and to make changes.
Forgiveness is given by grace.
For genuine repentance to take place, it involves actions to restore the broken relationship.
Repentance is part of restoring the relationship.
The word "Restitution" means to restore.
Hence, you need to make restitution for what you have destroyed.
To rebuild trust that has been lost take time.
Just as we take time to grieve over the death of a loved one, time is also needed for trust to be built again.
A period of time has to pass before the relationship can be re-established again.
God does not expect you to be an idiot for you to forgive an offence only to allow the same offence to be done to you again.
It is as simple as if a conman has cheated you once, do you forgive the conman only to allow him to cheat you the second time.
Definitely any common sense will tell you it is illogical.
Similarly, a period of time is needed to mend back the broken or strained relationship.
4.
Forgiveness is not trying to forget what had happened.
Some people may tell you that you have not forgiven the offender unless you are able to forget the offense and the feeling of hurt is totally numb.
This is not what the bible says.
In fact, the more effort you put in to try to forget the event, the more it will remind you of it.
Rather than putting all your energy trying to forget the unhappiness, channel the energy to focus on new things or even building a new relationship elsewhere.
When you focus on something negative, the negative becomes magnified and it will occupy your mind.
Instead, focus on the positive and magnified the good.
The bible says in Philippians 4:8 that whatever things are true, noble, just ,pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue, and praiseworthy to meditate on them.
In other words, think of the good stuff that brings smile to your face and not let self-pity take over.
Better still, focus on building a strong personal relationship with God.
5.
Forgiveness is not my right when I was not the one hurt.
You cannot stand in proxy for forgiveness for someone else.
You do not know what the person who is hurting the ordeals he/she went through.
You cannot stand in the gap and say to the offender that "I forgive you on behalf of the victim".
However, you can be the middle person to bring reconciliation between two persons just as the bible says you can be the mediator of peace.
Having said all these, why then do people harbour anger and pains by refusing to forgive the Offender? Read The Power of Forgiveness II - Life Choices & Value Judgements.
- Colossians 3:13 To forgive someone for the wrong that has been done is easily said than done.
How many of us can truly say that we have let go of the past memories, hurts and pains without it really affecting our characters, emotions, decisions, relationships and actions? How many of us can truly say "we forgive so and so for hurting me" in lip service and yet harbour that pain quietly or even wallowing in self-pity? Are you able to let go of the past in order to embrace the future and even better things to come? Are you able to view your past and look at it positively to say that the past has been turned into something far greater in the later future? If you are not able to let go of the past, you can never embrace the future and move into greater things ahead.
Let's do a simple True and False questions to test whether your understanding of Forgiveness is right and is according to the Word of God.
Below are 5 simple questions.
All you need to do is to answer whether they are True or False.
1.
A person should not be forgiven until he/she ask for it? (T/F) 2.
When I have forgiven, I have minimized the offense done to me? (T/F) 3.
Forgiveness includes restoring the trust again.
(T/F) 4.
You have not really forgiven until you have forgotten the offense.
(T/F) 5.
When I know someone else who is being hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender.
(T/F) Tabulate your answers now.
How many True and False do you have? According to the Bible, all the five answers should be "False".
Let's see what the bible has to say about each of the above five answers on forgiveness.
1.
Forgiveness is unconditional.
Real forgiveness is given whether the person requires it or not.
It is never based on conditions nor is it offers to someone who asks for forgiveness.
The bible says that forgiveness is unconditional and you are to offer forgiveness whether the person deserves it or not, whether they ask for it or even whether they change their behaviour and attitude.
We are to forgive unconditionally just as Jesus forgives our sins unconditionally on the cross.
2.
Forgiveness does not minimize the offense.
When you are hurt, do not minimize the offense or else you cheapen forgiveness.
If forgiveness is treated lightly, then the offence is considered nothing.
Proverbs 26:18 to19 says that forgiveness must not be taken as a joke and laugh it off.
If it is so, then forgiveness is not taken seriously but has been cheapened to nothing.
3.
Forgiveness is not resuming the relationship without any efforts to atone for the offence and to make changes.
Forgiveness is given by grace.
For genuine repentance to take place, it involves actions to restore the broken relationship.
Repentance is part of restoring the relationship.
The word "Restitution" means to restore.
Hence, you need to make restitution for what you have destroyed.
To rebuild trust that has been lost take time.
Just as we take time to grieve over the death of a loved one, time is also needed for trust to be built again.
A period of time has to pass before the relationship can be re-established again.
God does not expect you to be an idiot for you to forgive an offence only to allow the same offence to be done to you again.
It is as simple as if a conman has cheated you once, do you forgive the conman only to allow him to cheat you the second time.
Definitely any common sense will tell you it is illogical.
Similarly, a period of time is needed to mend back the broken or strained relationship.
4.
Forgiveness is not trying to forget what had happened.
Some people may tell you that you have not forgiven the offender unless you are able to forget the offense and the feeling of hurt is totally numb.
This is not what the bible says.
In fact, the more effort you put in to try to forget the event, the more it will remind you of it.
Rather than putting all your energy trying to forget the unhappiness, channel the energy to focus on new things or even building a new relationship elsewhere.
When you focus on something negative, the negative becomes magnified and it will occupy your mind.
Instead, focus on the positive and magnified the good.
The bible says in Philippians 4:8 that whatever things are true, noble, just ,pure, lovely, of good report, of virtue, and praiseworthy to meditate on them.
In other words, think of the good stuff that brings smile to your face and not let self-pity take over.
Better still, focus on building a strong personal relationship with God.
5.
Forgiveness is not my right when I was not the one hurt.
You cannot stand in proxy for forgiveness for someone else.
You do not know what the person who is hurting the ordeals he/she went through.
You cannot stand in the gap and say to the offender that "I forgive you on behalf of the victim".
However, you can be the middle person to bring reconciliation between two persons just as the bible says you can be the mediator of peace.
Having said all these, why then do people harbour anger and pains by refusing to forgive the Offender? Read The Power of Forgiveness II - Life Choices & Value Judgements.
