Family & Relationships

How Parents can Help Teens and Tweens Set & Achieve Goals

Tweens want things and they want to achieve tasks, but sometimes they just don't know how. Help your tween set and achieve goals by teaching them how to do it.



Children who are 9 -14 years old can benefit greatly when adults take the time to help them set and achieve realistic goals. These skills will not only benefit them today but for the rest of their lives, so be patient, encouraging, and most of all let children know that you believe in their ability to achieve the goals they set for themselves.


Setting Personal Goals


The first thing adults should know about effectively teaching goal setting to 'tweens' is that the goals need to be the children's goals, and not the parents', teachers' or other adults' "goals" for the child. Children will be motivated to achieve their own personal goals, as these are the things that they care about and the things which are important to them. On the other hand children of this age are likely to reject or even rebel against an adult's "goals" which are set for them.


Use Teaching Moments


Parents and teachers have the unique opportunity to assist children in learning personal development ideas, at any given time. Teaching moments are those moments when a child creates that perfect opportunity for you to offer to help, by teaching them a new skill. An example of a perfect opportunity to teach goal setting skills could be:

Child: I got a C in math.


Adult: Are you satisfied with your grade? Do you think you can do better? You could (remember it has to be the child's goal) set a personal goal to get a B next time. I think you could obtain that goal if you work at it.



Parents and other adults who spend a lot of time with children realize that there are countless "teaching moments" like these, when you can help a child understand what it means to set goals and accomplish the things that you care about accomplishing. By refraining from lecturing, and "demanding more" from tweens, adults who respond to young people in this way, give them the opportunity to demand more of themselves. Being able to "require things" of oneself, and to hold oneself accountable for successes and failures, is an important step toward maturity, and a necessary component in the area of personal achievement.


Helping Your Tween or Teen


Help the child set and define a specific goal for him/herself. Make sure that the goal is realistic, and can be achieved in a reasonable amount of time. If the child sets an unreasonable goal (for example to earn $5,000 in 2 weeks) don't criticize. Say something like "I think that is a very ambitious (admirable, amazing etc...) plan. How do you hope to go about meeting that goal?"

A very useful tool for online goal setting is a website called Scallyroo.com. This free platform allows both parents and children to set goals and also allows both to track them until the goal is achieved. I highly recommend Scallyroo because it is easy for parents, and fun for kids. It makes goal-setting fun for the whole family. Plus it allows the parent to add an incentive (reward) to motivate their child to succeed.

This website is great for both the home and the classroom (for you teachers out there).

Check scallyroo out here


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