The difference in styles of play between girls and boys suggests that girls tend to be more preoccupied with the emotional aspects of friendship, either to become close to someone, or to exclude others from getting be¬tween them and their "best friend." In contrast, boys are more preoccupied with the activity itself and its competitive aspects. Boys' friendships, on average, are less in¬timate. There is less mutual self-disclosure, less eye contact, and less phys¬ical closeness. By the age of eight or so, if boys touch each other at all, it tends to be with an affectionate punch, or to give each other a "high five." While girls are more often directed toward intimacy, boys are more often directed toward coordinated group activity, based on mu¬tual interests. For example, the boys who enjoy sport, or rock music, or computers magnetically find each other and form themselves into groups. Boys' main priority seems to be to join a group based on a shared activity. Once inside a group, there is a further priority to establish their individual rank in the dominance hierarchy that will emerge. This shows that using childhood, friendship relates to the quality and coordination of social behaviors between children.
These different social agendas and friendship have implications for group size, and for degrees of intimacy and empathy. Boys may spend their time in larger groups, depending on the nature of the activity. Girls may network more, but tend to devote more time to intimacy with a small number of people. Boys are more self-centered in relation to the group, with all the benefits this can bring, and it protects one's status within this social system. Girls are more centered on another person's emotional state (establishing a mutually satisfying and intimate friendship).
Girls more often use tactics such as saying "I won't be your friend any more" or they more often spread negative gossip about a girl—so-called "social alien¬ation." They use more subtle verbal persuasion or even misinformation-based strategies. They are using a "theory of mind" even if they are not fully empathizing. Boys, in contrast, more often use a direct means of aggres¬sion: yelling, fighting, and calling each other blatantly offensive names. A boy in the same situation is more likely to go for the im¬mediate goal, knowing that the net effect will work out in his favor (he rises in the group, while the other child sinks), even if he makes an immediate enemy in the process. Sociologists underline that younger children are expected to judge same-sex social partner choices more favorably than their older peers.