How to Get Your Husband Back After an Affair
For the purposes of this article, I'm going to assume that your husband really has had an affair.
I say this because it is my experience that many women think or assume that their husband has cheated on them without really knowing the full story or the specifics.
I also need to assume that your husband is a man worth getting back -- a good man who has just momentarily lost his way.
It's not my intention to encourage anyone to get back into an unhealthy relationship.
With that said, in truth, the specifics of the affair don't usually matter quite as much as what happens after it occurs.
Because how you handle it could well dictate the course of your marriage.
This article will explain what you can do to save your marriage from an affair or infidelity.
Understanding What The "Other Woman" Or Mistress Has That You Don't: Many wives make the huge mistake of assuming or thinking that the other woman is automatically prettier, younger, or more skilled than you and therefore getting your husband back is a losing game.
This is often not the case at all.
Understand that men are without a doubt most attracted to how a woman makes them feel about themselves.
In truth, it is all about them and their feelings and less about the woman that they are with or her specific qualities.
When a man is in a pleasurable relationship, he feels alive, attractive, intelligent, competent, alluring, and on top of the world.
This often has less to do with how the woman looks and more to do with the feelings she is able to elicit in him.
A woman who makes a man feel like a million bucks frankly has him wrapped around her little finger.
It's safe to say that once upon a time, you were able to elicit these feelings in your husband (so much that he married you), but somewhere along the way, the marriage became vulnerable to outside factors.
Why does this happen? Why The World Gets In The Way Of Your Marriage And Leaves It Vulnerable: Once a couple gets married, society can work against it.
You now usually have bills to pay, jobs that require a lot of your attention, and quite possibly children that you must care for.
There's only so much of you to go around.
It's perfectly understandable that time together as a married couple will start to diminish, just slightly at first.
Unfortunately, what also happens is that the strength and excitement in your marriage is typically a direct result of the time you put into it.
So, as your responsibilities take more of your time, your husband gets less of it.
Although he may not consciously understand his feelings on this, deep down he'll usually be quite disappointed and may assume that you no longer deem him the center of your world.
As a result, your relationship is vulnerable to a woman who can convince him that she can definitely provide (or can make time for) the attention he supposedly deserves.
How To Find Your Opportunity To Turn The Tables: If there is any good news about the course of an affair, it's this.
Often the other woman can't keep up the charade for long.
At first, she will likely appear to your husband as lighthearted, non threatening, and fun.
But, eventually and over time, many mistresses begin to act more wife life and demand more from the husbands with whom they are cheating.
Eventually, they'll begin asking him why he is late, (or how much he is with you), and they too will have to worry about their jobs or commitments.
They usually eventually start to make demands of his time or attention.
This will usually begin to grate on husbands.
Suddenly, the carefree and fun relationship will not seem so alluring.
And, this is your opportunity to pounce (without appearing that you are doing anything different.
) Making Your Move To Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman: As the mistress or other woman becomes more wife like (and she usually will), your job is to present the best version of yourself (the person your husband first fell in love with) without being obvious about it.
This often means to take care of yourself first.
You want to appear busy, intriguing, and full of self worth.
So, you go out, you see friends, you do the things that make you happy.
You demonstrate to your husband that although you love him and value the marriage, you also love and value yourself enough to take care of you.
Get a new hair style, commit to the things you've been putting off, or learn a new skill.
This will often peak a husband's interest enough to turn his attention back your way.
What You Have That The Mistress Does Not Have.
(Believe It Or Not, You're At An Advantage): Many wives fail to realize that they really do have an advantage in an affair.
That is, they know their husbands better and have a longer history with him.
You know what makes your husband tick, and the qualities it takes to make him fall in love and want to commit to one person.
You've already done this (so well he married you).
Now,you just need to do it again without appearing obvious about it.
Using The Experience And The Affair As A Wake Up Call: Whether you believe it or not right now, marriages can recover from an affair or infidelity.
They can even be stronger in the end.
The key is to use the experience as a wake up call to address the issues that contributed to the affair in the first place.
Many couples have been able to overcome these issues.
The key is two partners willing to do what is necessary to overcome this bump in the road to make their marriage one in which both partner's needs are met and both are equally happy.
It helps greatly if one or both of you can approach this process with an open heart and an open mind.
I say this because it is my experience that many women think or assume that their husband has cheated on them without really knowing the full story or the specifics.
I also need to assume that your husband is a man worth getting back -- a good man who has just momentarily lost his way.
It's not my intention to encourage anyone to get back into an unhealthy relationship.
With that said, in truth, the specifics of the affair don't usually matter quite as much as what happens after it occurs.
Because how you handle it could well dictate the course of your marriage.
This article will explain what you can do to save your marriage from an affair or infidelity.
Understanding What The "Other Woman" Or Mistress Has That You Don't: Many wives make the huge mistake of assuming or thinking that the other woman is automatically prettier, younger, or more skilled than you and therefore getting your husband back is a losing game.
This is often not the case at all.
Understand that men are without a doubt most attracted to how a woman makes them feel about themselves.
In truth, it is all about them and their feelings and less about the woman that they are with or her specific qualities.
When a man is in a pleasurable relationship, he feels alive, attractive, intelligent, competent, alluring, and on top of the world.
This often has less to do with how the woman looks and more to do with the feelings she is able to elicit in him.
A woman who makes a man feel like a million bucks frankly has him wrapped around her little finger.
It's safe to say that once upon a time, you were able to elicit these feelings in your husband (so much that he married you), but somewhere along the way, the marriage became vulnerable to outside factors.
Why does this happen? Why The World Gets In The Way Of Your Marriage And Leaves It Vulnerable: Once a couple gets married, society can work against it.
You now usually have bills to pay, jobs that require a lot of your attention, and quite possibly children that you must care for.
There's only so much of you to go around.
It's perfectly understandable that time together as a married couple will start to diminish, just slightly at first.
Unfortunately, what also happens is that the strength and excitement in your marriage is typically a direct result of the time you put into it.
So, as your responsibilities take more of your time, your husband gets less of it.
Although he may not consciously understand his feelings on this, deep down he'll usually be quite disappointed and may assume that you no longer deem him the center of your world.
As a result, your relationship is vulnerable to a woman who can convince him that she can definitely provide (or can make time for) the attention he supposedly deserves.
How To Find Your Opportunity To Turn The Tables: If there is any good news about the course of an affair, it's this.
Often the other woman can't keep up the charade for long.
At first, she will likely appear to your husband as lighthearted, non threatening, and fun.
But, eventually and over time, many mistresses begin to act more wife life and demand more from the husbands with whom they are cheating.
Eventually, they'll begin asking him why he is late, (or how much he is with you), and they too will have to worry about their jobs or commitments.
They usually eventually start to make demands of his time or attention.
This will usually begin to grate on husbands.
Suddenly, the carefree and fun relationship will not seem so alluring.
And, this is your opportunity to pounce (without appearing that you are doing anything different.
) Making Your Move To Get Your Husband Back From The Other Woman: As the mistress or other woman becomes more wife like (and she usually will), your job is to present the best version of yourself (the person your husband first fell in love with) without being obvious about it.
This often means to take care of yourself first.
You want to appear busy, intriguing, and full of self worth.
So, you go out, you see friends, you do the things that make you happy.
You demonstrate to your husband that although you love him and value the marriage, you also love and value yourself enough to take care of you.
Get a new hair style, commit to the things you've been putting off, or learn a new skill.
This will often peak a husband's interest enough to turn his attention back your way.
What You Have That The Mistress Does Not Have.
(Believe It Or Not, You're At An Advantage): Many wives fail to realize that they really do have an advantage in an affair.
That is, they know their husbands better and have a longer history with him.
You know what makes your husband tick, and the qualities it takes to make him fall in love and want to commit to one person.
You've already done this (so well he married you).
Now,you just need to do it again without appearing obvious about it.
Using The Experience And The Affair As A Wake Up Call: Whether you believe it or not right now, marriages can recover from an affair or infidelity.
They can even be stronger in the end.
The key is to use the experience as a wake up call to address the issues that contributed to the affair in the first place.
Many couples have been able to overcome these issues.
The key is two partners willing to do what is necessary to overcome this bump in the road to make their marriage one in which both partner's needs are met and both are equally happy.
It helps greatly if one or both of you can approach this process with an open heart and an open mind.
