In chapter one of Dale Carnegie's book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People," he mentions a world-famous psychologist who proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.
Later studies showed that the same applies to humans.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
Another great psychologist said, "As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.
" The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.
The point of this chapter of the Carnegie book is DON'T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.
I suggest you begin by asking questions rather than criticizing.
"How could we do this differently next time?" is much more productive than "You goofed!" I also suggest you keep a copy of Carnegie's book close by.
When a challenging moment arrives, stop.
Pick up the book and read any page.
That step will shift your gears into a more productive direction.
To see how productive this idea is, force yourself, for one week, not to criticize, condemn or complain.
I believe you'll be amazed with the good things that will happen in your life.
If you are tempted to criticize, why not ask a question instead? Instead of telling an employee that they did something wrong, why not ask them how it could be done differently in the future to get a better result? Dale Carnegie said that people will fight for their own ideas.
Instead of criticizing a spouse or a child, why don't we look for something good that they did recently and compliment.
Carnegie said that we should diminish the negative and embelish the positive.
He said that we should simply look for the good.