Joint Custody - 6 Tips For Making it Work For You & Your Child
Divorced parents who share joint custody of their children face many challenges.
When the child is with the other parent there is often a feeling of missing out on important events in their child's life, a feeling of lack of control and inability to influence the child's development on a daily basis.
Whilst it is difficult to avoid having those feelings, there are certain things parents can do to maximise their positive influence and maintain good relationships.
Value any time that you have with your child as if it is the last and both parent and child will benefit enormously.
When the child is with the other parent there is often a feeling of missing out on important events in their child's life, a feeling of lack of control and inability to influence the child's development on a daily basis.
Whilst it is difficult to avoid having those feelings, there are certain things parents can do to maximise their positive influence and maintain good relationships.
- It is most important to set consistent rules and routines for your child when they are in your care.
Ideally, they should be similar to what the child experiences with the other joint custody parent but if this is not practical then establish rules and expectations that must be adhered to when in your home. - Children feel most valued when they have their own space and are treated as family members and not visitors or intruders.
If you can, give them their own bed, wardrobe and bedroom so that they have a space that they can call their own. - Use the time you have with your child to learn about them, their interests, likes and dislikes and also their problems.
This will help establish a relationship unique to child and parent as well as helping you to find common interests. - For the times when you are not the custodial parent, make an effort to remain in contact.
Encourage your child to ring you or email you so that you can share more of their day to day lives that you would otherwise miss. - Take photos of the special times that you share with your child and display them in your home.
This will help keep those happy memories in the forefront of your mind as well as showing your child how important their time is to you. - Children will generally love both parents unconditionally and will be hurt if they hear one parent being critical of the other.
If you have any joint custody concerns then deal directly with the other parent and avoid negative feedback passing through your child.
Value any time that you have with your child as if it is the last and both parent and child will benefit enormously.
