When you find yourself thinking, "If only they could see that this is good for them," you aren't alone. We all want our children to understand that we're only doing certain things because we love them, or because it's good for them in the long run. However, in a child's mind this isn't always the case. Many parents worry about their children who refuse to eat, refuse to take their cough syrup, refuse to wear the clothes they've spent their hard-earned paycheck on, or refuse to befriend the children they wish they'd befriend. It can be difficult for the parent and the child. Use these tips to help you understand, cope, and handle these stubborn situations.

Choose Your Battles

Remember, sometimes if your child doesn't seem to care about the thing that you're stressing so heavily, maybe you shouldn't either. Is what you want for them vitally important? Or is it just so you can say you've won or gotten your own way? A big part of parenting is selflessness and understanding. Perhaps it's best to ask yourself, "Is this something to get upset about?" If it's not, you should let it go, and let your child know you've let it go, too. Often, this may encourage your child to do the thing you wanted more than if you hollered and hounded them. It's not about coercion or manipulation; it's about effective communication. Really mean what you say, and say exactly what you mean. You'll get the respect of adults and children alike.

Consider Why Your Child Won't Cooperate

Become a parental psychologist. Look into their behavior and try to be empathetic. Think of some reasons why they are reluctant or downright stubborn about something. If that's too difficult, there is always this often-overlooked tactic: asking. You can simply ask your child why they don't want to do something. Be understanding. Is there fear, shame or grief involved in what they have to do? Get to the bottom of the issue. For example, if your child doesn't want to take cough syrup when you know it will help them feel better, you may want to consider why they don't want it and then restrategize. Maybe choose a different flavor, a different spoon, or do it in a situation that seems less demanding and more helpful. Cough syrup is just a small example of some of the struggles parents encounter with children. Remember, there are things you resist to for the same emotional reasons. It is human to be hesitant or afraid from time to time.

When it's Necessary

If you think that it's an important issue, and there are many, then calmly explain the benefits to your child. Give them reasons why it's best for them, how it can make them happier, healthier, stronger, or smarter. It's important to carefully choose your battles and your tactics. There's no use in getting stressed out and worked up. It's not good for you, or your child. Simply take the time to share your concerns, your hopes, and your wisdom with your child. Don't force them, don't manipulate them, simply state the case as it really is, and try to make a list with your child of the possible outcomes. Incidentally, this sort of talking could end up bonding you to your child more than any other forceful or authoritative method.

Do you have your own methods for dealing with uncooperative children? Please feel free to share your secrets with the rest of us.